Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
