He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
