so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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