it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
