I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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