I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize