at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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