i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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