Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
