its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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