brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
