When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
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