i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Farmville is her only friend.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
