i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
operation harelip BJ is a go
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She bit a glass in half.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize