it's like iHOP with fire
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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