I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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