I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
