o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
