I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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