please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
