i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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