I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
