I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
