bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Only a mothe r could love this liver
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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