kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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