i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize