I cockslap morals
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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