We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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