Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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