That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
