then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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