Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
