Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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