he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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