Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize