just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
