im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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