so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
