So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My bed smells like the plague
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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