hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
