What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
