C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
