Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
