Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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