I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
