On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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