BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
