I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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