can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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