Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
COCAINE IS GR8
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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