Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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