you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Holy sore nipples Batman
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
